Where to Now?

I'm sitting in a motel room in Orlando, Florida. It's raining outside and your brother Nick is making himself a thorn to all human life around him. At the moment he is picking at his brother Luc. Now he is turning the lights on and off. Just as I finished the last sentence he shot a rubberband at me. I have so many questions I would like to ask God about him but what is the point? He never answers. Your brother is like he is so that God can do a work in his heart and mine. I have to guard my heart. There was a time when I thought that you had a black heart. I even told you so from time to time. There was a time when you flipped me off while you were driving somewhere. You were driving a car that your mom and I bought and you did something like that. I had so many questions I wanted to ask God about you. Eventually He answered.

Recognize and appreciate the boundaries that Heather has mandated for you. They are for your protection. They will help to protect you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The time is not yet when you are wise enough to make these kinds of decisions for yourself. Honor God and honor me by honoring Heather. It seems to me that maybe you don't trust God enough to let go of Brenda. Give her to His care. The love you have for her is a gift from God to her and you. Don't see your heart's feelings as a curse because you are hurting. Walk up to the pain, embrace it and let it do God's work in your heart. You must be careful not to establish barriers to your heart. A barrier keeps others out. Recognize the potential for heartbreak and love anyway. In time barriers will smother your heart. You'll become cold and remote from others. We have enough of those kinds of people as it is. Your heart is the best gift that you have to offer. It's the part of you that God continues to mold and shape. It's the part of you that God uses. Guard and protect your heart but do not cut it off from others. Continue to love others with passion and abandon but realize that pain and disappointment are likely. You'll learn how to love wisely with time.

Based on what I heard from you and Heather, it may have not been a good thing for you to have been sent to House of Hope. Okay, let's move on and see what God has for you now. We both see some opportunity for ministry after the young women leave but let's allow God the room to work. Let's move as He guides us. We are not in charge of making His work happen. He does that alone. Sometimes it pleases Him to use us and sometimes it doesn't. He doesn't require our help. Here's the mystery of it all. In some secret way known only to Him our conversations with Him carry influence. He hears us. My problem is that He is way to slooooow in answering.

I'll talk more later

D