Heart Beats
Hey You,
It has been such a long time since I have done this. Your mom says that you don't get to read email that much but I notice you keep your xanga site pretty current. If you do that then you probably check your mail.
I have such a full heart as it pertains to you. I watch you from here in the hills of my home and I know that you are where you ought to be (at least for the next several months). I've read your xanga site. I've read the postings of others on the AGCI list serve about you. I've listened to the stories that you have told to your mom. I've heard the tenderness of your heart in your voice on the phone. I look for the hand of our Father in all that surrounds me. I watch for Him in my circumstances. That is how He speaks to me. How can I grow closer to Him if I am not seeking Him everywhere? As it concerns you He says, "Ashley will be just fine." I think it's time for me to allow our relationship to evolve into something else. If there is any power or benefit in the blessing of a father, you have mine. I don't think you need my approval. You have the Father's approval stamped on your heart. We who love Him bear His mark on our hearts. I sense, however, that you want my "blessing." Ashley, you have my blessing. You no longer have to ask for my permission to do anything. You are free. Is that what you're looking for from me? I have to warn you that the exercise of your freedom has a price attached to it. If you want to, we can talk about that later. Along with my blessing, let me tell you one other thing. This is paramount. This is vital. This is the most important thing a dad can tell a grown child. Never forget this. God has given you something to do in Guatemala. You are in a position to impact the lives of others for all of eternity. God will use you to bring others to Himself. All of that means nothing. That's right, nothing. What you are doing on God's behalf is not important. Being a server at Applebee's is just as important as being a missionary in a faraway place. No, I haven't lost my mind. Hang with me a bit further. Here's what's really important: Your own personal growing intimacy with the One who saved you. You are not in Guatemala so that God can use you to do a work for Him. God is using your experience in Guatemala to do a work in you. Will God use you in Guatemala? Will others have the chance to see Jesus in you? Will God use you to draw others to Himself? The answer to all of these questions is YES. But all of that is secondary to a vital and growing intimacy with Jesus. Please don't ever sacrifice that for the work God has given you to do. From man's point of view the work of the missionary is admirable and noble. We see the missionary as someone who is more special to God because of their calling. From God's point of view I don't think it matters if one is working in Wal-Mart throwing chips at 4:00 am or caring for a new born orphan in some distant land. All God wants from you Ashley or from any of us is our heart. Now let me ask you: What's the most important thing?
I know that I asked you to get Heather to contact me. I realize that you probably haven't asked her to do that. It would please me if she did but I don't require that from her or you. I understand that she is very busy these days. Mom says that she has about 80 cases right now. I imagine she is overwhelmed. Here is my hearts concern for her. I am worried that she is so absorbed by the good work she is doing that she has forgotten the most important thing. What do you think? I so want good things for her and her kids. Tell me how to pray for Hannah's Hope. Tell me how to pray for Heather. She listened to God and followed Him thru what seems like overwhelming adversity. Your mom and I owe her a great debt for her obedience. Maybe I should send her an email. What do you think? I bet she gets lots of letters from grateful people. Tomorrow I think I'll send her a note.
You are one of my heart's great loves. I miss you.
D
It has been such a long time since I have done this. Your mom says that you don't get to read email that much but I notice you keep your xanga site pretty current. If you do that then you probably check your mail.
I have such a full heart as it pertains to you. I watch you from here in the hills of my home and I know that you are where you ought to be (at least for the next several months). I've read your xanga site. I've read the postings of others on the AGCI list serve about you. I've listened to the stories that you have told to your mom. I've heard the tenderness of your heart in your voice on the phone. I look for the hand of our Father in all that surrounds me. I watch for Him in my circumstances. That is how He speaks to me. How can I grow closer to Him if I am not seeking Him everywhere? As it concerns you He says, "Ashley will be just fine." I think it's time for me to allow our relationship to evolve into something else. If there is any power or benefit in the blessing of a father, you have mine. I don't think you need my approval. You have the Father's approval stamped on your heart. We who love Him bear His mark on our hearts. I sense, however, that you want my "blessing." Ashley, you have my blessing. You no longer have to ask for my permission to do anything. You are free. Is that what you're looking for from me? I have to warn you that the exercise of your freedom has a price attached to it. If you want to, we can talk about that later. Along with my blessing, let me tell you one other thing. This is paramount. This is vital. This is the most important thing a dad can tell a grown child. Never forget this. God has given you something to do in Guatemala. You are in a position to impact the lives of others for all of eternity. God will use you to bring others to Himself. All of that means nothing. That's right, nothing. What you are doing on God's behalf is not important. Being a server at Applebee's is just as important as being a missionary in a faraway place. No, I haven't lost my mind. Hang with me a bit further. Here's what's really important: Your own personal growing intimacy with the One who saved you. You are not in Guatemala so that God can use you to do a work for Him. God is using your experience in Guatemala to do a work in you. Will God use you in Guatemala? Will others have the chance to see Jesus in you? Will God use you to draw others to Himself? The answer to all of these questions is YES. But all of that is secondary to a vital and growing intimacy with Jesus. Please don't ever sacrifice that for the work God has given you to do. From man's point of view the work of the missionary is admirable and noble. We see the missionary as someone who is more special to God because of their calling. From God's point of view I don't think it matters if one is working in Wal-Mart throwing chips at 4:00 am or caring for a new born orphan in some distant land. All God wants from you Ashley or from any of us is our heart. Now let me ask you: What's the most important thing?
I know that I asked you to get Heather to contact me. I realize that you probably haven't asked her to do that. It would please me if she did but I don't require that from her or you. I understand that she is very busy these days. Mom says that she has about 80 cases right now. I imagine she is overwhelmed. Here is my hearts concern for her. I am worried that she is so absorbed by the good work she is doing that she has forgotten the most important thing. What do you think? I so want good things for her and her kids. Tell me how to pray for Hannah's Hope. Tell me how to pray for Heather. She listened to God and followed Him thru what seems like overwhelming adversity. Your mom and I owe her a great debt for her obedience. Maybe I should send her an email. What do you think? I bet she gets lots of letters from grateful people. Tomorrow I think I'll send her a note.
You are one of my heart's great loves. I miss you.
D
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