John the Baptist was put in jail because he told the king that he couldn't lawfully have his brother's wife. As John sat in a prison cell awaiting his fate, he sent a message to his cousin Jesus. In the message he asked Jesus if he was in fact the one or should the search and waiting continue. I'm sure John remembered the day of Jesus' baptism. It seems highly unlikely that the Father's voice from heaven slipped from his memory. Difficult circumstances are probably the most fertile ground for the seeds of doubt to grow in. I'm sure the confinement of prison gave John plenty of time to think. "Maybe I should have minded my own business concerning the king's adultery." Again and again I think he asked himself, "Is Jesus really who I think he is?" "Why doesn't he visit me?" "I'm not as sure now as I once was when God spoke from Heaven." "I think I should double check." It was understood by John that when Jesus came forward his role as the announcer of Christ's coming would fade. I don't think John imagined his retirement in a prison cell? I would imagine that when John realized that Jesus wasn't going to visit he sent some of his followers with his message of inquiry.
Jesus received the message and told John's followers to report what they had seen and heard. "The blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the gospel is preached to the poor." I wonder if any of John's followers had the nerve or the presence of mind to tell Jesus. "I'm sure John will be glad to hear, as he sits in prison, about how successful your ministry is becoming, but that's not what he asked us to find out." John's disciples were expecting something else from Jesus. They were expecting, I think, a simple answer to a simple question: "Are you the one?" Jesus didn't give them the answer they expected, instead he pointed to the evidence of his identity: "Tell John what you have seen and heard, tell him that." In light of John's circumstances it would have been nice if Jesus gave to John what he asked for: a little bit of hope. Maybe the answer Jesus provided was enough for John. I don't think it would have been enough for me.
When John's disciples left Jesus turned to the crowd and declared that John the Baptist was the greatest man who ever lived. Time out! Maybe the departing disciples of John caught this or maybe they didn't. The fact remains that Jesus' high praise of John was not part of the message they were to take back to John. John was the cousin of Jesus. Jesus said that John was the greatest. It just seems to me that maybe Jesus could have taken a minute to reach out to John in a more meaningful way. But that's just me thinking, I don't know and I don't get it.
Later John was executed in prison.
John the Baptist had a starring role in the life and times of Jesus. He and Jesus were cousins. Their moms were sisters. John had the supreme role of announcing the arrival of the Messiah. He witnessed the spoken word of God at Jesus' baptism. Jesus himself declared that John the Baptist was greatest man who ever lived. John the Baptist wasn't really executed in prison. He was murdered at the request of a dancing girl. Go figure.
At the conclusion of Jesus' message to John he said: "Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me." Matt. 11:6 I haven't read any commentaries on that so I maybe I have this wrong. Maybe Jesus was telling John, "Don't give up on me because things haven't turned out the way you expected or you don't understand what I'm doing." Or "Hang in there even though you don't get it." "Hey John, the story ain't over and the fat lady ain't singing." As far as John the Baptist was concerned the fat lady may not have been singing but the skinny girl was dancing.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Practical Christianity (a do over)
My Friends,
I've expanded my circle of contacts somewhat.
In some ways I regret the way I left my previous message regarding Practical Christianity. If you are reading this note and have no idea what I am talking about then that is because you didn't receive or read my first message. I have posted the email on a blog. Please follow the link and read it so that you are in the loop.
I think if I can conclude anything about following the example of Jesus, it is this: His ways are not practical according to my understanding of what practical means. To me the expression "practical Christianity" implies that within the topic one can learn how to manage the circumstances of life and perhaps harmonize them with the teachings of Christ. The end result of such would produce as smooth a journey as can be had. Don't misunderstand. I'm not looking for an easy, comfortable, or painless way to live. I'm seeking the right way. I'm looking for the narrow way that few will find. I have a way of thinking that naturally understands and concludes that if I'm doing something correctly the process of doing it will be smooth, painless, and with minimal difficulty. I have a lifetime of experience that proves my natural understanding of things. I realize that my natural understanding tends to lead me away from the truth regardless of what my experience has taught me.
A famous someone once said that embarking on the journey of Christianity is free to whoever will go. Remaining on the journey however, will cost the traveler everything. Romans 12 tells us to present ourselves as a living sacrifice to God. The Message says to take our everyday, ordinary lives----our sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around lives----and place them before God as an offering. I think this is where practical Christianity is really defined. Presenting ourselves to God seems to be the first step. I think I understand what this means. Doesn't it mean surrender to his will as I abandon mine? My problem is I never completely surrender or offer myself. As I travel this road I'm regularly presented with opportunities to surrender more. Here is where it gets thorny because of the "O" word. I have difficulty shaking the negative vibe that the concept of obedience presents me with. I think of rules that must be obeyed. I think of chores that I have no energy to complete that must be done. I think of commands we give a dog like sit, stay, or rollover. When the command is obeyed the compliant pet is rewarded with a "Scooby snack." The rules we are asked to obey (by our traditional Christian culture) seem to me to have as much value as the silly tricks we teach our dogs to perform. Of course I'm speaking for myself and I admit that I have very little understanding of what real obedience looks like. I am learning to view obedience as a positive response to opportunities God places in my path. God is showing me that he doesn't demand my obedience like a drill sergeant barking out orders. His commands are almost always whispered to my heart. His commands feel more like invitations than orders. If you are reading along and thinking then you must wonder what sorts of things does God ask me to do. I think that just about everything I was ever invited to do involved another human being. Maybe every command can be summed up like this: "Will you let me love that person through you?" It may be as simple as saying "good morning" or taking a moment to help another lift a cumbersome piece of freight. It may be as challenging as rescuing a small child from behind what was once the Iron Curtain or some other third world country and then giving that child your name. I could introduce the "R" word but I won't. I'm already taking up too much of your time. Suffice it to say that somewhere between saying "good morning" to a stranger and adopting another person into your family requires the building of relationships.
So what about practical Christianity? Is my Christianity a belief system that I use to manage and cope until God calls me to the "sweet by and by?" I hate managing and coping because while in the process of that I don't get to live. Do I see it as a formula or strategy I use to get what I want from God and others? What do you think? Maybe I should stop asking how Christianity is practical to me and start asking God how practical I am to him. EUREKA!! That's it, isn't it? Practical Christianity is Jesus revealing his love to others through me. As I throw off my own interests and agenda do I make myself more available to serve his interests and agenda?
What about my present difficulties I once thought my Christianity would ease or free me from? They come and they go. Sometimes I'm pleased and sometimes I'm not by the way these temporal matters sort out. I suspect that maybe they don't matter as much as I think they do. As my perspective is adjusted they become less and less relevant.
Some personal notes:
Deb & Bill: Would you send this to Greg and Joyce? I'm hopefully expectant as we begin our new journey.
My usual Sun. morning group: I tried to include as many of you guys as I could. Some showed an interest in being included. If I left someone off feel free to send this to them. I love you guys. I value your insight. Let me know what you're thinking as it pertains these matters.
Ashley: Be careful and I can't wait to see you in Tampa. You are God's picture to me of what practical Christianity looks like.
Heather: Keri and I owe you more than we can ever repay. Miguel is making me crazy and Ana is healing.
Greg B: My kids love you so for now that's enough. I look forward to knowing the man beneath the surface.
Stuart: I found some of what you told me to find and some I did not. In the process I found something unexpected.
Mike: I invite you to meet with me in the desert where we can speak of these great mysteries as only two like minded mystics can do.
Caleb
I've expanded my circle of contacts somewhat.
In some ways I regret the way I left my previous message regarding Practical Christianity. If you are reading this note and have no idea what I am talking about then that is because you didn't receive or read my first message. I have posted the email on a blog. Please follow the link and read it so that you are in the loop.
I think if I can conclude anything about following the example of Jesus, it is this: His ways are not practical according to my understanding of what practical means. To me the expression "practical Christianity" implies that within the topic one can learn how to manage the circumstances of life and perhaps harmonize them with the teachings of Christ. The end result of such would produce as smooth a journey as can be had. Don't misunderstand. I'm not looking for an easy, comfortable, or painless way to live. I'm seeking the right way. I'm looking for the narrow way that few will find. I have a way of thinking that naturally understands and concludes that if I'm doing something correctly the process of doing it will be smooth, painless, and with minimal difficulty. I have a lifetime of experience that proves my natural understanding of things. I realize that my natural understanding tends to lead me away from the truth regardless of what my experience has taught me.
A famous someone once said that embarking on the journey of Christianity is free to whoever will go. Remaining on the journey however, will cost the traveler everything. Romans 12 tells us to present ourselves as a living sacrifice to God. The Message says to take our everyday, ordinary lives----our sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around lives----and place them before God as an offering. I think this is where practical Christianity is really defined. Presenting ourselves to God seems to be the first step. I think I understand what this means. Doesn't it mean surrender to his will as I abandon mine? My problem is I never completely surrender or offer myself. As I travel this road I'm regularly presented with opportunities to surrender more. Here is where it gets thorny because of the "O" word. I have difficulty shaking the negative vibe that the concept of obedience presents me with. I think of rules that must be obeyed. I think of chores that I have no energy to complete that must be done. I think of commands we give a dog like sit, stay, or rollover. When the command is obeyed the compliant pet is rewarded with a "Scooby snack." The rules we are asked to obey (by our traditional Christian culture) seem to me to have as much value as the silly tricks we teach our dogs to perform. Of course I'm speaking for myself and I admit that I have very little understanding of what real obedience looks like. I am learning to view obedience as a positive response to opportunities God places in my path. God is showing me that he doesn't demand my obedience like a drill sergeant barking out orders. His commands are almost always whispered to my heart. His commands feel more like invitations than orders. If you are reading along and thinking then you must wonder what sorts of things does God ask me to do. I think that just about everything I was ever invited to do involved another human being. Maybe every command can be summed up like this: "Will you let me love that person through you?" It may be as simple as saying "good morning" or taking a moment to help another lift a cumbersome piece of freight. It may be as challenging as rescuing a small child from behind what was once the Iron Curtain or some other third world country and then giving that child your name. I could introduce the "R" word but I won't. I'm already taking up too much of your time. Suffice it to say that somewhere between saying "good morning" to a stranger and adopting another person into your family requires the building of relationships.
So what about practical Christianity? Is my Christianity a belief system that I use to manage and cope until God calls me to the "sweet by and by?" I hate managing and coping because while in the process of that I don't get to live. Do I see it as a formula or strategy I use to get what I want from God and others? What do you think? Maybe I should stop asking how Christianity is practical to me and start asking God how practical I am to him. EUREKA!! That's it, isn't it? Practical Christianity is Jesus revealing his love to others through me. As I throw off my own interests and agenda do I make myself more available to serve his interests and agenda?
What about my present difficulties I once thought my Christianity would ease or free me from? They come and they go. Sometimes I'm pleased and sometimes I'm not by the way these temporal matters sort out. I suspect that maybe they don't matter as much as I think they do. As my perspective is adjusted they become less and less relevant.
Some personal notes:
Deb & Bill: Would you send this to Greg and Joyce? I'm hopefully expectant as we begin our new journey.
My usual Sun. morning group: I tried to include as many of you guys as I could. Some showed an interest in being included. If I left someone off feel free to send this to them. I love you guys. I value your insight. Let me know what you're thinking as it pertains these matters.
Ashley: Be careful and I can't wait to see you in Tampa. You are God's picture to me of what practical Christianity looks like.
Heather: Keri and I owe you more than we can ever repay. Miguel is making me crazy and Ana is healing.
Greg B: My kids love you so for now that's enough. I look forward to knowing the man beneath the surface.
Stuart: I found some of what you told me to find and some I did not. In the process I found something unexpected.
Mike: I invite you to meet with me in the desert where we can speak of these great mysteries as only two like minded mystics can do.
Caleb
Monday, January 26, 2009
Practical Christianity is a Lie
I've been thinking lately about something called "practical Christianity" or "practical Christian living." In your opinion what does that mean? I always assumed that this concept was instruction on how to apply Biblical principles to life's circumstances so that I can honor God. What I am finding is that many people who apply Biblical principles to their lives do so not so much to honor God but to make their lives here work better. I often hear people say that they like this or that Christian speaker because what they say is "so practical," "so useful," or "so relevant" to their Christian walk. I often wonder what that really means to them. Many times I come away from such encounters believing that what people are looking for is some spiritual authority to show them how they can make their Christianity work for them. I'm also reminded of the thing I've heard of called the "gospel of tips and techniques." Apply these simple pointers to your life and watch God work (for you). Such application of Biblical instruction I believe is very dangerous on so many levels. Are we obedient to God's word for obedience's' sake alone or are we obedient for what we believe we can get out of it? Here's some questions to meditate on: What good thing has God withheld from us? Do we love our triune God for what he has done or is our love based on what we expect him to do for us while we occupy this vessel of flesh and bone? Do I obey him regarding tithes and offerings because I want the blessing of more money? If that is so then I love money, God is just my tool to acquire it. Do I "do kindly unto others" so that they will treat me in the same manner? If that is so then I really don't love them. My goal is really to use and manipulate them into performing in ways that please me.
When we observe the man Jesus in the four gospels, how practical were his teachings? Do his teachings show me how to get by in a world gone crazy? Does his famous Sermon on the Mount show me how to survive in a culture that has forgotten God? In my opinion there is nothing practical about following the ways of Jesus. His teachings are not handy pointers on how to survive here. On the contrary, they cause me added difficulty. I have found that following his ways are not supportive to my sojourn here. I have found them to be completely subversive to comfort and pain-free living. The application of his words to my life don't make my life easier or more endurable. His teachings put me at odds with everything (even myself). I want what he says to make sense but it doesn't. Does he ever explain why something is true and right? If he were to do so would my mind be able to contain it?
Based on what my view of what Christian living is why would anyone in a culture of self-sufficiency want to follow Jesus? The answer to that question lies in the hearts of those he has changed and is changing. Can anyone explain the burning flame in my heart? I think I may have just reached the edge of what I can explain................
Caleb
When we observe the man Jesus in the four gospels, how practical were his teachings? Do his teachings show me how to get by in a world gone crazy? Does his famous Sermon on the Mount show me how to survive in a culture that has forgotten God? In my opinion there is nothing practical about following the ways of Jesus. His teachings are not handy pointers on how to survive here. On the contrary, they cause me added difficulty. I have found that following his ways are not supportive to my sojourn here. I have found them to be completely subversive to comfort and pain-free living. The application of his words to my life don't make my life easier or more endurable. His teachings put me at odds with everything (even myself). I want what he says to make sense but it doesn't. Does he ever explain why something is true and right? If he were to do so would my mind be able to contain it?
Based on what my view of what Christian living is why would anyone in a culture of self-sufficiency want to follow Jesus? The answer to that question lies in the hearts of those he has changed and is changing. Can anyone explain the burning flame in my heart? I think I may have just reached the edge of what I can explain................
Caleb
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Holiday Update
The news media has declared that we are in a national economic recession. The holiday season of 2008 has been forecast to be bleak because of the financial crunch. Keri and I have never had much money so we don't plan on participating. I'm sure that a sound economy is an important part of our national interest. However, I'm not so sure it's that relevant to things that really matter. While the United States laments another quarter of negative growth, our family in Tennessee has experienced exponential increases in 2008. Thousands and thousands of dollars have been channeled through us to accomplish the work that was given to us. Since 1998 we have been bringing home and raising the children that God has carefully selected for us. Now that the work has been completed (I hope so) we still don't have very much money. Money becomes less and less relevant as our hearts receive the news that we already have everything. We are all the adopted sons and daughters of the King!
The year 2008 has truly been a remarkable time for us. Ana arrived early in the year and Miguel followed in the Spring. However, 2007 was a year of great testing for us. We waited, we watched, and we wept as we struggled through the process of bringing home Ana and Miguel. This past year we have had the profound joy of getting to know these two remarkable people. Ana is 12 and she arrived with a lot of baggage from her past. Keri finds ways through the barriers of her heart to help her "unpack" the lies and introduce her to the truth of who she really is. Miguel on the other hand is 6 and was the prince of Hannah's Hope in Guatemala City. He is a force to be reckoned with. He is an outgoing and happy child. Everyone he meets is his friend even those he sees on the television. (There's an inside story here that really isn't suitable for a holiday family update.)
Ashley is 21 living and ministering in the ghetto of Guatemala City. She has abandoned the emptiness of North American culture and has chosen instead to recklessly follow after Christ in the dirtiest and darkest of places. She is still working with All God's Children at Hannah's Hope but her passion is reaching the poor and abandoned people of Guatemala with the good news. Her life fills her mom and I with wonder. Admittedly, there's also some fear. God has blessed her mom and I with some extra grace. He has not removed the fear but He is showing us how to master it.
Nick is 17 and a senior in high school. He is contemplating and planning for life after high school. He's in the process of practicing for his ACT exam so that he can qualify for the Hope Scholarship (funded by the TN lottery). I think he may begin college at UT Chattanooga and live on campus. He is hard-working and artistically gifted. He is so much wiser and more intelligent than his parents. It has been so challenging to provide for him all to which he is so clearly entitled. Ashley will surely rebuke me but sarcasm gives me so much pleasure!
Nicoleta is 14 and a high school freshman. She has a birthday in January and I'm looking forward to introducing her to the thrills and chills of driving (oops more sarcasm). Nicoleta is a gifted athlete and cheerleader. This past weekend Keri and I attended a cheer competition in Macon, GA with her. The things I saw her and the squad do defied the laws of gravity and human physiology. Whatever happened to "Firecracker, firecracker, boom, boom, boom?" I think I should get out more.
Luc is 12 and started middle school this year. He enjoys Dr. Pepper and hanging out with his buddies in the neighborhood. He is performing far below his potential in school but he is beginning to take more personal responsibility for his school work. He has refused to wear his rubber bands so he still has braces. He must really enjoy them! This summer he is looking forward to visiting his biological brother in Indiana.
As I mentioned Ana is also 12. Luc and Ana are in the same homeroom and share many of the same classes. This has proven very convenient for Keri and I. Luc's memory for homework assignments has improved immensely thanks to his new sister. He is so thankful for her support (I can't help myself.)
There is a promising new student beginning his educational career at Apison Elementary School. His name is Miguel Antonio and he is 6 years old. He has appointed himself the kindergarten school rules enforcer. Running in the halls is never tolerated. Hitting, biting, kicking and scratching are also strictly forbidden in his presence. Throwing rocks over the playgrounds' fence is an acceptable practice so long as all stones strike the windshields of the faculty's vehicles. Did you know the department of education in our county provides insurance for such events? Thank goodness!
Keri and I are having the time of our lives raising our family. What an adventure God has provided for us. I still work at (deleted) and Keri is still working as a dental hygienist with the same doctor. Since I go to work at the obscene hour of 3am, Keri gets everyone up and off to school. I'm usually home by noon so I'm home when everyone comes home from school. I can cook, wash clothes, make lunches, vacuum floors, etc. I read recently that I am a victim of a phenomenon called "gender convergence." Our roles as mom and dad may not look the same as our parents' roles once did but I don't feel like a victim.
We hope that all our well and content as we celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. Keri and I hope to be able to see our western relations at the next big reunion in 2010. To all related personnel on my side of the Mississippi River I am happy to report that next Thanksgiving I will be on vacation. I promise to be a much more fun guy next year so please come back. Thanks for your patience with me. I love you guys.
Caleb
The year 2008 has truly been a remarkable time for us. Ana arrived early in the year and Miguel followed in the Spring. However, 2007 was a year of great testing for us. We waited, we watched, and we wept as we struggled through the process of bringing home Ana and Miguel. This past year we have had the profound joy of getting to know these two remarkable people. Ana is 12 and she arrived with a lot of baggage from her past. Keri finds ways through the barriers of her heart to help her "unpack" the lies and introduce her to the truth of who she really is. Miguel on the other hand is 6 and was the prince of Hannah's Hope in Guatemala City. He is a force to be reckoned with. He is an outgoing and happy child. Everyone he meets is his friend even those he sees on the television. (There's an inside story here that really isn't suitable for a holiday family update.)
Ashley is 21 living and ministering in the ghetto of Guatemala City. She has abandoned the emptiness of North American culture and has chosen instead to recklessly follow after Christ in the dirtiest and darkest of places. She is still working with All God's Children at Hannah's Hope but her passion is reaching the poor and abandoned people of Guatemala with the good news. Her life fills her mom and I with wonder. Admittedly, there's also some fear. God has blessed her mom and I with some extra grace. He has not removed the fear but He is showing us how to master it.
Nick is 17 and a senior in high school. He is contemplating and planning for life after high school. He's in the process of practicing for his ACT exam so that he can qualify for the Hope Scholarship (funded by the TN lottery). I think he may begin college at UT Chattanooga and live on campus. He is hard-working and artistically gifted. He is so much wiser and more intelligent than his parents. It has been so challenging to provide for him all to which he is so clearly entitled. Ashley will surely rebuke me but sarcasm gives me so much pleasure!
Nicoleta is 14 and a high school freshman. She has a birthday in January and I'm looking forward to introducing her to the thrills and chills of driving (oops more sarcasm). Nicoleta is a gifted athlete and cheerleader. This past weekend Keri and I attended a cheer competition in Macon, GA with her. The things I saw her and the squad do defied the laws of gravity and human physiology. Whatever happened to "Firecracker, firecracker, boom, boom, boom?" I think I should get out more.
Luc is 12 and started middle school this year. He enjoys Dr. Pepper and hanging out with his buddies in the neighborhood. He is performing far below his potential in school but he is beginning to take more personal responsibility for his school work. He has refused to wear his rubber bands so he still has braces. He must really enjoy them! This summer he is looking forward to visiting his biological brother in Indiana.
As I mentioned Ana is also 12. Luc and Ana are in the same homeroom and share many of the same classes. This has proven very convenient for Keri and I. Luc's memory for homework assignments has improved immensely thanks to his new sister. He is so thankful for her support (I can't help myself.)
There is a promising new student beginning his educational career at Apison Elementary School. His name is Miguel Antonio and he is 6 years old. He has appointed himself the kindergarten school rules enforcer. Running in the halls is never tolerated. Hitting, biting, kicking and scratching are also strictly forbidden in his presence. Throwing rocks over the playgrounds' fence is an acceptable practice so long as all stones strike the windshields of the faculty's vehicles. Did you know the department of education in our county provides insurance for such events? Thank goodness!
Keri and I are having the time of our lives raising our family. What an adventure God has provided for us. I still work at (deleted) and Keri is still working as a dental hygienist with the same doctor. Since I go to work at the obscene hour of 3am, Keri gets everyone up and off to school. I'm usually home by noon so I'm home when everyone comes home from school. I can cook, wash clothes, make lunches, vacuum floors, etc. I read recently that I am a victim of a phenomenon called "gender convergence." Our roles as mom and dad may not look the same as our parents' roles once did but I don't feel like a victim.
We hope that all our well and content as we celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. Keri and I hope to be able to see our western relations at the next big reunion in 2010. To all related personnel on my side of the Mississippi River I am happy to report that next Thanksgiving I will be on vacation. I promise to be a much more fun guy next year so please come back. Thanks for your patience with me. I love you guys.
Caleb
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Death of a Rabbit
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I miss you and often wish for your company. Let me tell you a story of recent events. Have you been home since your mom bought me this new chair I'm sitting on? I really like it. I spend so much time in it that I think your mom regrets getting it. I admit that I often use this little bit of sanctuary to escape, to reflect, and to talk to God. I think it's ironic that your mom bought me this comfortable chair, the floor lamp that stands beside it, and the computer that sits on my lap. She has essentially equipped me to do something she doesn't like that much: check out. I was about to tell a story.
One afternoon recently I was sitting right here when your brother came into the room and said he had something to tell me. Nick rarely has anything of substance to say to me under any circumstances so I was curious about what he had on his mind. He was having a hard time spitting it out. Finally he was able to mutter "I messed up." I asked him if he quit yet another job. He said it was nothing like that. He also assured me that he didn't wreck or ruin another vehicle. So I asked him, "Well, what have you done?" He indicated that what he had done was pretty huge. I was clueless. I was between surprised that he wanted to tell me anything about his life and curiosity as to what had rattled his cage so. "Dad, this is really big. I really messed up." I told him to tell me what he'd done. It could be that what was worrying him wasn't as huge as he believed. He asked me if I remembered a girl he brought by the house while he changed his clothes several weeks ago. Well of course I didn't remember. I don't think he ever brought any particular girl home more than one time. Anyway, when he began talking about a girl he had seen I saw where he was going with his confession. I wasn't about to make it easy on him. It would be good for him to say the words. He went on to say that this former girl friend had called him and told him that she was pregnant. I told him that I wish I could tell him that it wasn't as huge a deal as he imagined. He had no idea of the difficulty that lay ahead of him. Her mom had taken her to the doctor and confirmed that she was about ten weeks along. I asked him if he was certain that the baby was his. He was duly offended and he was certain that he was the father. I told him I would have to contact her parents to see what role they wanted us to fulfill if any in this little drama. He told me that he was forbidden from seeing or contacting the girl by her parents. I told him I still needed to call them. He said that he didn't want me to speak with her mother because she was bipolar. With some luck I would reach her dad. Nick told me that he only had a cell number for this girl. I asked him where she lived. He said he knew where she lived but didn't know the street address. "What's her last name?" He didn't know her last name. Do I have a sign on my forehead that identifies me as "dumb ass?" I told him that I was a bit confused that he would make this monumental admission yet stonewall me on her contact information. He said that he wasn't ready for me to call her parents. I didn't really want to call them so I was looking for an excuse not to. I told him he had two days to give me contact information for her parents. He told me that he was going to meet with the girl and her twin sister at a nearby restaurant to discuss the situation. When they met he would get her dad's cell number. He then asked me to not tell his mom. Sorry Nick.
That evening I was outside Eastwood waiting for your mom to show up so that I could give her the news. I watched Miguel on the playground and tried to figure out how I was going to tell your mom. I don't think there's a good way to do such a thing. As she arrived I walked out to meet her. When she got out of the car she saw me and smiled. Your mom has a smile that's just for me. When two people have been together as long as your mom and I lots of things evolve and change. Some things fade. There are some things that are forever fresh and new. Your mom's smile for me is one of those things. We leaned against the car and talked for a while. We were both trying to wrap our minds around what was happening. Your mom was having difficulty comprehending how a woman with a six year old could also be a grandmother. We agreed that I had to contact the other parents as quickly as possible.
The next evening Nick came home to discuss what had transpired at the secret meeting he had with the girl and her twin. They discussed and decided custody issues. They agreed on a name etc.. I found the settlement of the custody issue particularly amusing. They agreed that joint custody would be best for the baby. I pointed out that one has to qualify for custodial rights. One has to be gainfully employed, have a place of residence etc.. He was quick to point out that he was working and had already saved $80.00. It was his intention that when he had the baby in his care that he or she could stay in his bedroom. Nick has never grasped the fact that the place he calls his bedroom is really my bedroom that I am temporarily allowing him to use. I think he believes that a baby is really just a high tech puppy. Neither Nick or the girl have considered the fact that neither of them will be of legal age when their little bundle of joy arrives. Oh well, whatever was decided would most likely be decided by the other parents. Nick still didn't get the number for the girl's father.
It's amazing what one can find out about another with next to no information about them. As I fished for information about the girl's parents from Nick he gave me one good piece of data. The girls mom is a marine biologist. How many marine biologists do you think reside in the Chattanooga area? Thanks to Google I found that there are two. One of them is a man who teaches at UTC. The other is a woman. Eureka! Now I had a name. An address placed the lady marine biologist in the neighborhood where your brother said the girl lived.
I almost didn't make the call. I was afraid. I didn't want a stranger to vent all over me. What if I called and I had to deal with a bipolar marine biologist on the negative swing? I made the call. A woman answered.
I realize that you live without fear. However, we lesser mortals must always fight it. Just in case you ever need it let me offer you some advice regarding fear. Face it. Feel it. Embrace it. Then kill it. Fear is the mind killer.* Fear is a subtle slavery. I have found that often fear is the result of my belief in a lie. Once fear enters your heart find the lie. I have lived with some lies for so long that they felt true and normal. It's then that the truth feels like a lie. I introduced myself to the woman I had called. She seemed okay. As our conversation developed I realized that she had no idea why I was calling. I saw no escape by this time so I had the honor of telling yet another mom that she would be a grandmother. The woman certainly didn't seem bipolar. In all likelihood Nick lied about that. She was understandably devastated and heartbroken. I tried my best to explain that had I known that she was unaware of her daughter's situation I would have called some other time. Her daughter wasn't home but she said she would sort it out and call me back.
Your mom was out of town with everyone so I called her to let her know what was happening. After hearing about my experience on the phone your mom's immediate insight was that the girl made the whole thing up, that it was all a lie. I wasn't convinced. I then called Nick and told him I called the girl's mom. His anger with me "waxed hot." I told him the girl's mom didn't know about the pregnancy. She didn't take her daughter to the doctor as he originally told me. He quickly settled down and implored me to believe that what he told me was what he was told. My recommendation was that he call her and get some answers.
It was a lie. It was a prank that went seriously out of control. It was the girl's revenge for what Nick did to her. He got what he wanted and dropped her. After I got over my initial anger I decided that I like this girl. She brought your brother to his knees and tagged him a fool. None of this is lost on Nick. I think I convinced him to drop the issue. The girl had no idea what was waiting for her when she got home and saw her mom. I convinced the poor lady that her daughter was pregnant. I wonder if she took her to the doctor to be sure. I don't know because the allegedly bipolar marine biologist never called me back.
*From Herbert's sci-fi novel Dune
One afternoon recently I was sitting right here when your brother came into the room and said he had something to tell me. Nick rarely has anything of substance to say to me under any circumstances so I was curious about what he had on his mind. He was having a hard time spitting it out. Finally he was able to mutter "I messed up." I asked him if he quit yet another job. He said it was nothing like that. He also assured me that he didn't wreck or ruin another vehicle. So I asked him, "Well, what have you done?" He indicated that what he had done was pretty huge. I was clueless. I was between surprised that he wanted to tell me anything about his life and curiosity as to what had rattled his cage so. "Dad, this is really big. I really messed up." I told him to tell me what he'd done. It could be that what was worrying him wasn't as huge as he believed. He asked me if I remembered a girl he brought by the house while he changed his clothes several weeks ago. Well of course I didn't remember. I don't think he ever brought any particular girl home more than one time. Anyway, when he began talking about a girl he had seen I saw where he was going with his confession. I wasn't about to make it easy on him. It would be good for him to say the words. He went on to say that this former girl friend had called him and told him that she was pregnant. I told him that I wish I could tell him that it wasn't as huge a deal as he imagined. He had no idea of the difficulty that lay ahead of him. Her mom had taken her to the doctor and confirmed that she was about ten weeks along. I asked him if he was certain that the baby was his. He was duly offended and he was certain that he was the father. I told him I would have to contact her parents to see what role they wanted us to fulfill if any in this little drama. He told me that he was forbidden from seeing or contacting the girl by her parents. I told him I still needed to call them. He said that he didn't want me to speak with her mother because she was bipolar. With some luck I would reach her dad. Nick told me that he only had a cell number for this girl. I asked him where she lived. He said he knew where she lived but didn't know the street address. "What's her last name?" He didn't know her last name. Do I have a sign on my forehead that identifies me as "dumb ass?" I told him that I was a bit confused that he would make this monumental admission yet stonewall me on her contact information. He said that he wasn't ready for me to call her parents. I didn't really want to call them so I was looking for an excuse not to. I told him he had two days to give me contact information for her parents. He told me that he was going to meet with the girl and her twin sister at a nearby restaurant to discuss the situation. When they met he would get her dad's cell number. He then asked me to not tell his mom. Sorry Nick.
That evening I was outside Eastwood waiting for your mom to show up so that I could give her the news. I watched Miguel on the playground and tried to figure out how I was going to tell your mom. I don't think there's a good way to do such a thing. As she arrived I walked out to meet her. When she got out of the car she saw me and smiled. Your mom has a smile that's just for me. When two people have been together as long as your mom and I lots of things evolve and change. Some things fade. There are some things that are forever fresh and new. Your mom's smile for me is one of those things. We leaned against the car and talked for a while. We were both trying to wrap our minds around what was happening. Your mom was having difficulty comprehending how a woman with a six year old could also be a grandmother. We agreed that I had to contact the other parents as quickly as possible.
The next evening Nick came home to discuss what had transpired at the secret meeting he had with the girl and her twin. They discussed and decided custody issues. They agreed on a name etc.. I found the settlement of the custody issue particularly amusing. They agreed that joint custody would be best for the baby. I pointed out that one has to qualify for custodial rights. One has to be gainfully employed, have a place of residence etc.. He was quick to point out that he was working and had already saved $80.00. It was his intention that when he had the baby in his care that he or she could stay in his bedroom. Nick has never grasped the fact that the place he calls his bedroom is really my bedroom that I am temporarily allowing him to use. I think he believes that a baby is really just a high tech puppy. Neither Nick or the girl have considered the fact that neither of them will be of legal age when their little bundle of joy arrives. Oh well, whatever was decided would most likely be decided by the other parents. Nick still didn't get the number for the girl's father.
It's amazing what one can find out about another with next to no information about them. As I fished for information about the girl's parents from Nick he gave me one good piece of data. The girls mom is a marine biologist. How many marine biologists do you think reside in the Chattanooga area? Thanks to Google I found that there are two. One of them is a man who teaches at UTC. The other is a woman. Eureka! Now I had a name. An address placed the lady marine biologist in the neighborhood where your brother said the girl lived.
I almost didn't make the call. I was afraid. I didn't want a stranger to vent all over me. What if I called and I had to deal with a bipolar marine biologist on the negative swing? I made the call. A woman answered.
I realize that you live without fear. However, we lesser mortals must always fight it. Just in case you ever need it let me offer you some advice regarding fear. Face it. Feel it. Embrace it. Then kill it. Fear is the mind killer.* Fear is a subtle slavery. I have found that often fear is the result of my belief in a lie. Once fear enters your heart find the lie. I have lived with some lies for so long that they felt true and normal. It's then that the truth feels like a lie. I introduced myself to the woman I had called. She seemed okay. As our conversation developed I realized that she had no idea why I was calling. I saw no escape by this time so I had the honor of telling yet another mom that she would be a grandmother. The woman certainly didn't seem bipolar. In all likelihood Nick lied about that. She was understandably devastated and heartbroken. I tried my best to explain that had I known that she was unaware of her daughter's situation I would have called some other time. Her daughter wasn't home but she said she would sort it out and call me back.
Your mom was out of town with everyone so I called her to let her know what was happening. After hearing about my experience on the phone your mom's immediate insight was that the girl made the whole thing up, that it was all a lie. I wasn't convinced. I then called Nick and told him I called the girl's mom. His anger with me "waxed hot." I told him the girl's mom didn't know about the pregnancy. She didn't take her daughter to the doctor as he originally told me. He quickly settled down and implored me to believe that what he told me was what he was told. My recommendation was that he call her and get some answers.
It was a lie. It was a prank that went seriously out of control. It was the girl's revenge for what Nick did to her. He got what he wanted and dropped her. After I got over my initial anger I decided that I like this girl. She brought your brother to his knees and tagged him a fool. None of this is lost on Nick. I think I convinced him to drop the issue. The girl had no idea what was waiting for her when she got home and saw her mom. I convinced the poor lady that her daughter was pregnant. I wonder if she took her to the doctor to be sure. I don't know because the allegedly bipolar marine biologist never called me back.
*From Herbert's sci-fi novel Dune
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Ghost Writer
My wife took the time recently to remember and write part of our story together. What follows is the abbreviated tale from Keri's perspective of our wild adoption adventures.
My life is nothing like I expected it to be. As a teenage girl I had my future carefully planned. I would attend college, get married to a tall handsome man, and have two children: girls, no boys. I went to college, met Caleb, a tall handsome man and got married but after that not much went as planned. About two years after we were married we had our first child, a daughter who we named Ashley. Four years later my plan went out the door because we had a son, Nick. But we were so happy to have him. Both pregnancies were extremely difficult so I elected to have my tubes tied following Nick's delivery.
A few years later I needed a hysterectomy. Before the surgery the decision to have only two children just didn’t seem final. However, on the day of the procedure I cried because I knew that was it; there would be no more children. Life went on and we enjoyed our two kids, Ashley and Nick. They grew older but our family just didn’t seem complete. We had a large home but one bedroom was empty. One evening we all went to the movies. We saw Father of the Bride part II. That movie began the process of change in our lives. We knew when we walked out of the theater that we wanted more children.
I have never been one to do things slowly or to procrastinate. I was on the phone and started the adoption process within weeks. We found AGCI in the Yellow Pages after several discussions with other agencies. We felt God had led us to the right place. The adoption process was not easy. (Is it ever?) We lost one referral in Bulgaria then changed to Romania. Following our change to Romania we waited two years through the country's closure. Finally, after two years we received the referral of a beautiful little girl, Nicoleta. She was one of the first children adopted through the Romanian program at AGCI.
Two years later we returned for our son, Luc. This time I traveled with my oldest daughter, Ashley. She was thirteen at the time. She fell in love with her new brother and she fell in love with Romania. Our family traveled back a year later for a vacation and we enjoyed every moment touring our newly adopted country.
When Ashley was sixteen she became interested in going on a foreign mission trip. She didn’t want to do the usual church sponsored week long trip. She wanted something longer, something bigger. We decided to get on the internet to explore what was available. We came upon an organization called Adventures in Missions. They offered a six-week trip to Romania. Ashley soon signed up and ventured out on a trip with fourteen other girls who she had never met before that time. It was the trip of a lifetime for Ashley. While in Romania God captured her heart. She met lifelong friends during those weeks. She returned home a different person.
After returning home Ashley asked me about sponsoring a child with All God's Children. It took me by surprise because she had researched this on her own and had already signed up. She just needed me to send a check for her every month after she gave me the money. We immediately sent the check and it wasn’t long before we received a picture in the mail of a little boy named Miguel. The rules were very clear about these children. They were not adoptable so I felt very safe. He was very cute but we were just helping to support him each month. I remember Ashley saying, "Oh mom, you and dad should adopt him." But I repeated the rules: not adoptable. Our family was complete.
We continued to send the checks and soon Ashley was making plans for life after high school. She felt strongly after her Romanian adventure that God had called her to missions. We couldn’t afford a Christian College so we were exploring other options. Soon she received a call from Moody Bible Institute. My Uncle had attended Moody so I was familiar with the school. The biggest plus was that it is a tuition-free school. God was making a way. Ashley soon applied but we knew that it was hard to get accepted immediately after high school, so she moved to plan B. She was invited to go to Mexico for the summer to live with a young missionary couple. Then she asked if in December she could go to Guatemala to visit Miguel, the child she sponsored. She was saving the money and she wanted to see him for Christmas. As before she had already contacted AGCI and received approval to spend three weeks there. Her dad and I agreed to let her make the trip.
Life in Mexico was hard and Ashley learned much. She lived by faith every day because the couple she lived with had no support. Each day they looked to God to supply even the food for that day. She didn’t get into Moody right away so she stayed in Mexico longer. I think in those days God was preparing her for her ministries that were yet to come. She had a heart for those who also lived from meal to meal. She made it home in time to go to Guatemala. Immediately after arriving at Hannah's Hope in Guatemala City, she called saying how in love she was with the little boy, Miguel. “He is so cute mom, you and dad have to adopt him.” She would talk like him and plead for him. That was what I heard during every telephone call. My answer was always the same, "We can’t adopt him because he isn’t available."
After returning home Ashley was accepted into Moody for the winter semester. As we traveled to Chicago Ashley kept on about little Miguel in Guatemala. Finally I relented and said I would call AGCI to find out more about him. I was in her new dorm room in January of 2006 when Hollen called me back and explained that there was a waiting list for children like Miguel. His case was very difficult and he was not presently even adoptable. He was part of a group of nine kids nicknamed by the AGCI staff as the "Mixco Nine." Their cases were hopelessly tangled in the Guatemalan legal system. When I hung up the phone I felt relieved and off the hook. Miguel is not available, so there!
Ashley continued with school but was determined to return to Guatemala. She wanted to go back for the summer. She would spend one month at Hannah’s Hope and then to YWAM (Youth with a Mission) for the rest of the summer. After a month at Hannah's Hope she decided to stay on at AGCI and was hired as a full-time employee. She was so in love with Guatemala and the people. She also loved a little boy called Miguel.
Month after month she talked about him. Month after month I shut the door. One night we were on the phone talking and Ashley brought it up again. This time my husband, Caleb, heard me from the other room once again stating all the reasons we could not adopt him. "First of all he isn’t available and secondly we don’t have the money." Caleb yelled from the other room, "Keri, have you asked God for the money." I quickly told him to be quiet.
Around this same time I was reading a book. It was titled, If You Want to Walk on Water You Have to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortenberg. After my husband yelled out that night I heard God saying, "Keri, leave the safety of your boat and meet me on the water." It would mean going back into debt as we added another child to our family. It would mean going back on an adoption journey that I knew could be long and painful.
Finally I decided, "Keri it's time." Ashley said, "Mom, why don’t you complete your dossier, go on the waiting list and maybe about the time you get to the bottom Miguel will become available." No guarantees here at all; a pure walk of faith. The next day I called and talked to Hollen. She said, "Keri, you have to realize up front that you may not get Miguel. If someone else is first on the list ahead of you they would get him. Also his case is still filled with problems and it might be years before any of the Mixco Nine are available. This was the ultimate faith walk. Caleb and I decided to take it.
I quickly filled out our dossier. I completed it in record time, two weeks! I knew we had to get on the list as soon as possible before other families got ahead of us. We requested to go on the boys and girls list. Just in case Miguel was taken we wanted to be open to whoever God chose. So in July, 2006 we began our journey. By about October we were nearing our turn on the bottom of the list. Things were looking good but no guarantees yet.
Also in October we had already scheduled a trip to visit Ashley in Guatemala. Two weeks before the trip I received a phone call. It was Heather (the girl from the book, only grown up). Something was up and I knew it. She proceeded to tell me about a young girl named Ana who was living with her. Ana was older and Heather was looking for a family for her. Ana really wanted a daddy and Heather knew Caleb was a good dad. My heart sank because I knew this meant we had to either turn Ana down or give up Miguel. How could I do that? Caleb made it easy. He said, "Giving up on Miguel is not an option." Then my heart seemed to scream, "TAKE BOTH!" Oh my goodness, how can we do that? We weren’t even looking for Miguel and now God has invited us to take two? (Take two, they're small!) Caleb and I talked about some options and we told AGCI how we could do it financially.
It didn’t take five minutes for Heather to call back and accept our proposal. We were now adopting two children. We traveled to Guatemala to meet not only our possible son but our daughter. It was an unforgettable trip. I had to guard my heart a little because I didn’t know for sure if we would get Miguel but it was still wonderful. We signed our power of attorney for Ana and started our adoption of her.
In March we returned to Guatemala for a trip and we were finally given the news that Miguel would be our son. We couldn’t officially sign the papers because AGCI was still waiting for his birth certificate but he was to be ours. We returned in May, 2007 to sign the official Power of Attorney. It was a long year with many twists, turns, heartbreaks, and frustrations but finally in May 2008 I traveled back to Guatemala to bring Miguel home. Ana made it home a few months before.
I tease Ashley and tell her if Miguel misbehaves I'll send him back for her to raise. When he's a teenager she should be old enough to take him back. It's unbelievable to think that we are raising that little boy whose picture came in the mail so many years ago . Through the faith and obedience (and relentless nagging) of a sixteen year old girl we gained another son and another daughter.
When I was a teenage girl I had a plan of what my future would be like: college, marriage, and two daughters. I imagine God in Heaven smiled to Himself and said, "I love it when people make plans. Wait till Keri sees what I have planned for her. When she's ready I'll show her my plan and invite her out of her boat to meet me on the water." I have three daughters and I have three sons! I'm having trouble getting used to the idea that I'm the mom of six: Ashley 21, Nick 17, Nicoleta 14, Luc 12, Ana 12, and Miguel 6. Oh well, so much for my life plan!
My life is nothing like I expected it to be. As a teenage girl I had my future carefully planned. I would attend college, get married to a tall handsome man, and have two children: girls, no boys. I went to college, met Caleb, a tall handsome man and got married but after that not much went as planned. About two years after we were married we had our first child, a daughter who we named Ashley. Four years later my plan went out the door because we had a son, Nick. But we were so happy to have him. Both pregnancies were extremely difficult so I elected to have my tubes tied following Nick's delivery.
A few years later I needed a hysterectomy. Before the surgery the decision to have only two children just didn’t seem final. However, on the day of the procedure I cried because I knew that was it; there would be no more children. Life went on and we enjoyed our two kids, Ashley and Nick. They grew older but our family just didn’t seem complete. We had a large home but one bedroom was empty. One evening we all went to the movies. We saw Father of the Bride part II. That movie began the process of change in our lives. We knew when we walked out of the theater that we wanted more children.
I have never been one to do things slowly or to procrastinate. I was on the phone and started the adoption process within weeks. We found AGCI in the Yellow Pages after several discussions with other agencies. We felt God had led us to the right place. The adoption process was not easy. (Is it ever?) We lost one referral in Bulgaria then changed to Romania. Following our change to Romania we waited two years through the country's closure. Finally, after two years we received the referral of a beautiful little girl, Nicoleta. She was one of the first children adopted through the Romanian program at AGCI.
Two years later we returned for our son, Luc. This time I traveled with my oldest daughter, Ashley. She was thirteen at the time. She fell in love with her new brother and she fell in love with Romania. Our family traveled back a year later for a vacation and we enjoyed every moment touring our newly adopted country.
When Ashley was sixteen she became interested in going on a foreign mission trip. She didn’t want to do the usual church sponsored week long trip. She wanted something longer, something bigger. We decided to get on the internet to explore what was available. We came upon an organization called Adventures in Missions. They offered a six-week trip to Romania. Ashley soon signed up and ventured out on a trip with fourteen other girls who she had never met before that time. It was the trip of a lifetime for Ashley. While in Romania God captured her heart. She met lifelong friends during those weeks. She returned home a different person.
After returning home Ashley asked me about sponsoring a child with All God's Children. It took me by surprise because she had researched this on her own and had already signed up. She just needed me to send a check for her every month after she gave me the money. We immediately sent the check and it wasn’t long before we received a picture in the mail of a little boy named Miguel. The rules were very clear about these children. They were not adoptable so I felt very safe. He was very cute but we were just helping to support him each month. I remember Ashley saying, "Oh mom, you and dad should adopt him." But I repeated the rules: not adoptable. Our family was complete.
We continued to send the checks and soon Ashley was making plans for life after high school. She felt strongly after her Romanian adventure that God had called her to missions. We couldn’t afford a Christian College so we were exploring other options. Soon she received a call from Moody Bible Institute. My Uncle had attended Moody so I was familiar with the school. The biggest plus was that it is a tuition-free school. God was making a way. Ashley soon applied but we knew that it was hard to get accepted immediately after high school, so she moved to plan B. She was invited to go to Mexico for the summer to live with a young missionary couple. Then she asked if in December she could go to Guatemala to visit Miguel, the child she sponsored. She was saving the money and she wanted to see him for Christmas. As before she had already contacted AGCI and received approval to spend three weeks there. Her dad and I agreed to let her make the trip.
Life in Mexico was hard and Ashley learned much. She lived by faith every day because the couple she lived with had no support. Each day they looked to God to supply even the food for that day. She didn’t get into Moody right away so she stayed in Mexico longer. I think in those days God was preparing her for her ministries that were yet to come. She had a heart for those who also lived from meal to meal. She made it home in time to go to Guatemala. Immediately after arriving at Hannah's Hope in Guatemala City, she called saying how in love she was with the little boy, Miguel. “He is so cute mom, you and dad have to adopt him.” She would talk like him and plead for him. That was what I heard during every telephone call. My answer was always the same, "We can’t adopt him because he isn’t available."
After returning home Ashley was accepted into Moody for the winter semester. As we traveled to Chicago Ashley kept on about little Miguel in Guatemala. Finally I relented and said I would call AGCI to find out more about him. I was in her new dorm room in January of 2006 when Hollen called me back and explained that there was a waiting list for children like Miguel. His case was very difficult and he was not presently even adoptable. He was part of a group of nine kids nicknamed by the AGCI staff as the "Mixco Nine." Their cases were hopelessly tangled in the Guatemalan legal system. When I hung up the phone I felt relieved and off the hook. Miguel is not available, so there!
Ashley continued with school but was determined to return to Guatemala. She wanted to go back for the summer. She would spend one month at Hannah’s Hope and then to YWAM (Youth with a Mission) for the rest of the summer. After a month at Hannah's Hope she decided to stay on at AGCI and was hired as a full-time employee. She was so in love with Guatemala and the people. She also loved a little boy called Miguel.
Month after month she talked about him. Month after month I shut the door. One night we were on the phone talking and Ashley brought it up again. This time my husband, Caleb, heard me from the other room once again stating all the reasons we could not adopt him. "First of all he isn’t available and secondly we don’t have the money." Caleb yelled from the other room, "Keri, have you asked God for the money." I quickly told him to be quiet.
Around this same time I was reading a book. It was titled, If You Want to Walk on Water You Have to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortenberg. After my husband yelled out that night I heard God saying, "Keri, leave the safety of your boat and meet me on the water." It would mean going back into debt as we added another child to our family. It would mean going back on an adoption journey that I knew could be long and painful.
Finally I decided, "Keri it's time." Ashley said, "Mom, why don’t you complete your dossier, go on the waiting list and maybe about the time you get to the bottom Miguel will become available." No guarantees here at all; a pure walk of faith. The next day I called and talked to Hollen. She said, "Keri, you have to realize up front that you may not get Miguel. If someone else is first on the list ahead of you they would get him. Also his case is still filled with problems and it might be years before any of the Mixco Nine are available. This was the ultimate faith walk. Caleb and I decided to take it.
I quickly filled out our dossier. I completed it in record time, two weeks! I knew we had to get on the list as soon as possible before other families got ahead of us. We requested to go on the boys and girls list. Just in case Miguel was taken we wanted to be open to whoever God chose. So in July, 2006 we began our journey. By about October we were nearing our turn on the bottom of the list. Things were looking good but no guarantees yet.
Also in October we had already scheduled a trip to visit Ashley in Guatemala. Two weeks before the trip I received a phone call. It was Heather (the girl from the book, only grown up). Something was up and I knew it. She proceeded to tell me about a young girl named Ana who was living with her. Ana was older and Heather was looking for a family for her. Ana really wanted a daddy and Heather knew Caleb was a good dad. My heart sank because I knew this meant we had to either turn Ana down or give up Miguel. How could I do that? Caleb made it easy. He said, "Giving up on Miguel is not an option." Then my heart seemed to scream, "TAKE BOTH!" Oh my goodness, how can we do that? We weren’t even looking for Miguel and now God has invited us to take two? (Take two, they're small!) Caleb and I talked about some options and we told AGCI how we could do it financially.
It didn’t take five minutes for Heather to call back and accept our proposal. We were now adopting two children. We traveled to Guatemala to meet not only our possible son but our daughter. It was an unforgettable trip. I had to guard my heart a little because I didn’t know for sure if we would get Miguel but it was still wonderful. We signed our power of attorney for Ana and started our adoption of her.
In March we returned to Guatemala for a trip and we were finally given the news that Miguel would be our son. We couldn’t officially sign the papers because AGCI was still waiting for his birth certificate but he was to be ours. We returned in May, 2007 to sign the official Power of Attorney. It was a long year with many twists, turns, heartbreaks, and frustrations but finally in May 2008 I traveled back to Guatemala to bring Miguel home. Ana made it home a few months before.
I tease Ashley and tell her if Miguel misbehaves I'll send him back for her to raise. When he's a teenager she should be old enough to take him back. It's unbelievable to think that we are raising that little boy whose picture came in the mail so many years ago . Through the faith and obedience (and relentless nagging) of a sixteen year old girl we gained another son and another daughter.
When I was a teenage girl I had a plan of what my future would be like: college, marriage, and two daughters. I imagine God in Heaven smiled to Himself and said, "I love it when people make plans. Wait till Keri sees what I have planned for her. When she's ready I'll show her my plan and invite her out of her boat to meet me on the water." I have three daughters and I have three sons! I'm having trouble getting used to the idea that I'm the mom of six: Ashley 21, Nick 17, Nicoleta 14, Luc 12, Ana 12, and Miguel 6. Oh well, so much for my life plan!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
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