Then I Woke Up

I went to sleep one night around the end of November and dreamed many dreams. Some of them were good but some were bad. Now I have awaken from my slumbering and have found my way again to this place. It's time to remember. It's time to download.

It began with the new floors in our house. It ended with my oldest son, your younger brother, calling me an asshole as he stormed out of the house into the cold January evening. I am not responsible for his anger yet I am held responsible for his unhappiness. Between the yelling and the sounds of hammers and saws there was also a subplot. I have become disillusioned with the business of church. In case I haven't said it before or if you have any doubt, for the record let me state: I loath churches and I despise religion. It robs me of something I don't wish to surrender. The organization of it all is life-draining. Don't misunderstand. I am captivated by Jesus. I love Him. Maybe I just love my perception of Him. I love and enjoy the people I know individually. Collectively, however, I can barely tolerate them. There is some dark dynamic that works in the group that doesn't seem to exist in individual encounters. I find it interesting that Jesus never had to deal with the church. He had much to say, however, to the leaders and organization of the Jewish religion. He called them a "generation of vipers." It doesn't seem that much has changed. I expect if Jesus arrived today He would have similar things to say to His church.

Many people judge Christianity based on their perception of Christians. Who would ever want Jesus based on the lives and performance of those who claim to follow Him? "Not I," said the blind man. "Nor I," says Caleb.