Death of a Rabbit
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I miss you and often wish for your company. Let me tell you a story of recent events. Have you been home since your mom bought me this new chair I'm sitting on? I really like it. I spend so much time in it that I think your mom regrets getting it. I admit that I often use this little bit of sanctuary to escape, to reflect, and to talk to God. I think it's ironic that your mom bought me this comfortable chair, the floor lamp that stands beside it, and the computer that sits on my lap. She has essentially equipped me to do something she doesn't like that much: check out. I was about to tell a story.
One afternoon recently I was sitting right here when your brother came into the room and said he had something to tell me. Nick rarely has anything of substance to say to me under any circumstances so I was curious about what he had on his mind. He was having a hard time spitting it out. Finally he was able to mutter "I messed up." I asked him if he quit yet another job. He said it was nothing like that. He also assured me that he didn't wreck or ruin another vehicle. So I asked him, "Well, what have you done?" He indicated that what he had done was pretty huge. I was clueless. I was between surprised that he wanted to tell me anything about his life and curiosity as to what had rattled his cage so. "Dad, this is really big. I really messed up." I told him to tell me what he'd done. It could be that what was worrying him wasn't as huge as he believed. He asked me if I remembered a girl he brought by the house while he changed his clothes several weeks ago. Well of course I didn't remember. I don't think he ever brought any particular girl home more than one time. Anyway, when he began talking about a girl he had seen I saw where he was going with his confession. I wasn't about to make it easy on him. It would be good for him to say the words. He went on to say that this former girl friend had called him and told him that she was pregnant. I told him that I wish I could tell him that it wasn't as huge a deal as he imagined. He had no idea of the difficulty that lay ahead of him. Her mom had taken her to the doctor and confirmed that she was about ten weeks along. I asked him if he was certain that the baby was his. He was duly offended and he was certain that he was the father. I told him I would have to contact her parents to see what role they wanted us to fulfill if any in this little drama. He told me that he was forbidden from seeing or contacting the girl by her parents. I told him I still needed to call them. He said that he didn't want me to speak with her mother because she was bipolar. With some luck I would reach her dad. Nick told me that he only had a cell number for this girl. I asked him where she lived. He said he knew where she lived but didn't know the street address. "What's her last name?" He didn't know her last name. Do I have a sign on my forehead that identifies me as "dumb ass?" I told him that I was a bit confused that he would make this monumental admission yet stonewall me on her contact information. He said that he wasn't ready for me to call her parents. I didn't really want to call them so I was looking for an excuse not to. I told him he had two days to give me contact information for her parents. He told me that he was going to meet with the girl and her twin sister at a nearby restaurant to discuss the situation. When they met he would get her dad's cell number. He then asked me to not tell his mom. Sorry Nick.
That evening I was outside Eastwood waiting for your mom to show up so that I could give her the news. I watched Miguel on the playground and tried to figure out how I was going to tell your mom. I don't think there's a good way to do such a thing. As she arrived I walked out to meet her. When she got out of the car she saw me and smiled. Your mom has a smile that's just for me. When two people have been together as long as your mom and I lots of things evolve and change. Some things fade. There are some things that are forever fresh and new. Your mom's smile for me is one of those things. We leaned against the car and talked for a while. We were both trying to wrap our minds around what was happening. Your mom was having difficulty comprehending how a woman with a six year old could also be a grandmother. We agreed that I had to contact the other parents as quickly as possible.
The next evening Nick came home to discuss what had transpired at the secret meeting he had with the girl and her twin. They discussed and decided custody issues. They agreed on a name etc.. I found the settlement of the custody issue particularly amusing. They agreed that joint custody would be best for the baby. I pointed out that one has to qualify for custodial rights. One has to be gainfully employed, have a place of residence etc.. He was quick to point out that he was working and had already saved $80.00. It was his intention that when he had the baby in his care that he or she could stay in his bedroom. Nick has never grasped the fact that the place he calls his bedroom is really my bedroom that I am temporarily allowing him to use. I think he believes that a baby is really just a high tech puppy. Neither Nick or the girl have considered the fact that neither of them will be of legal age when their little bundle of joy arrives. Oh well, whatever was decided would most likely be decided by the other parents. Nick still didn't get the number for the girl's father.
It's amazing what one can find out about another with next to no information about them. As I fished for information about the girl's parents from Nick he gave me one good piece of data. The girls mom is a marine biologist. How many marine biologists do you think reside in the Chattanooga area? Thanks to Google I found that there are two. One of them is a man who teaches at UTC. The other is a woman. Eureka! Now I had a name. An address placed the lady marine biologist in the neighborhood where your brother said the girl lived.
I almost didn't make the call. I was afraid. I didn't want a stranger to vent all over me. What if I called and I had to deal with a bipolar marine biologist on the negative swing? I made the call. A woman answered.
I realize that you live without fear. However, we lesser mortals must always fight it. Just in case you ever need it let me offer you some advice regarding fear. Face it. Feel it. Embrace it. Then kill it. Fear is the mind killer.* Fear is a subtle slavery. I have found that often fear is the result of my belief in a lie. Once fear enters your heart find the lie. I have lived with some lies for so long that they felt true and normal. It's then that the truth feels like a lie. I introduced myself to the woman I had called. She seemed okay. As our conversation developed I realized that she had no idea why I was calling. I saw no escape by this time so I had the honor of telling yet another mom that she would be a grandmother. The woman certainly didn't seem bipolar. In all likelihood Nick lied about that. She was understandably devastated and heartbroken. I tried my best to explain that had I known that she was unaware of her daughter's situation I would have called some other time. Her daughter wasn't home but she said she would sort it out and call me back.
Your mom was out of town with everyone so I called her to let her know what was happening. After hearing about my experience on the phone your mom's immediate insight was that the girl made the whole thing up, that it was all a lie. I wasn't convinced. I then called Nick and told him I called the girl's mom. His anger with me "waxed hot." I told him the girl's mom didn't know about the pregnancy. She didn't take her daughter to the doctor as he originally told me. He quickly settled down and implored me to believe that what he told me was what he was told. My recommendation was that he call her and get some answers.
It was a lie. It was a prank that went seriously out of control. It was the girl's revenge for what Nick did to her. He got what he wanted and dropped her. After I got over my initial anger I decided that I like this girl. She brought your brother to his knees and tagged him a fool. None of this is lost on Nick. I think I convinced him to drop the issue. The girl had no idea what was waiting for her when she got home and saw her mom. I convinced the poor lady that her daughter was pregnant. I wonder if she took her to the doctor to be sure. I don't know because the allegedly bipolar marine biologist never called me back.
*From Herbert's sci-fi novel Dune
One afternoon recently I was sitting right here when your brother came into the room and said he had something to tell me. Nick rarely has anything of substance to say to me under any circumstances so I was curious about what he had on his mind. He was having a hard time spitting it out. Finally he was able to mutter "I messed up." I asked him if he quit yet another job. He said it was nothing like that. He also assured me that he didn't wreck or ruin another vehicle. So I asked him, "Well, what have you done?" He indicated that what he had done was pretty huge. I was clueless. I was between surprised that he wanted to tell me anything about his life and curiosity as to what had rattled his cage so. "Dad, this is really big. I really messed up." I told him to tell me what he'd done. It could be that what was worrying him wasn't as huge as he believed. He asked me if I remembered a girl he brought by the house while he changed his clothes several weeks ago. Well of course I didn't remember. I don't think he ever brought any particular girl home more than one time. Anyway, when he began talking about a girl he had seen I saw where he was going with his confession. I wasn't about to make it easy on him. It would be good for him to say the words. He went on to say that this former girl friend had called him and told him that she was pregnant. I told him that I wish I could tell him that it wasn't as huge a deal as he imagined. He had no idea of the difficulty that lay ahead of him. Her mom had taken her to the doctor and confirmed that she was about ten weeks along. I asked him if he was certain that the baby was his. He was duly offended and he was certain that he was the father. I told him I would have to contact her parents to see what role they wanted us to fulfill if any in this little drama. He told me that he was forbidden from seeing or contacting the girl by her parents. I told him I still needed to call them. He said that he didn't want me to speak with her mother because she was bipolar. With some luck I would reach her dad. Nick told me that he only had a cell number for this girl. I asked him where she lived. He said he knew where she lived but didn't know the street address. "What's her last name?" He didn't know her last name. Do I have a sign on my forehead that identifies me as "dumb ass?" I told him that I was a bit confused that he would make this monumental admission yet stonewall me on her contact information. He said that he wasn't ready for me to call her parents. I didn't really want to call them so I was looking for an excuse not to. I told him he had two days to give me contact information for her parents. He told me that he was going to meet with the girl and her twin sister at a nearby restaurant to discuss the situation. When they met he would get her dad's cell number. He then asked me to not tell his mom. Sorry Nick.
That evening I was outside Eastwood waiting for your mom to show up so that I could give her the news. I watched Miguel on the playground and tried to figure out how I was going to tell your mom. I don't think there's a good way to do such a thing. As she arrived I walked out to meet her. When she got out of the car she saw me and smiled. Your mom has a smile that's just for me. When two people have been together as long as your mom and I lots of things evolve and change. Some things fade. There are some things that are forever fresh and new. Your mom's smile for me is one of those things. We leaned against the car and talked for a while. We were both trying to wrap our minds around what was happening. Your mom was having difficulty comprehending how a woman with a six year old could also be a grandmother. We agreed that I had to contact the other parents as quickly as possible.
The next evening Nick came home to discuss what had transpired at the secret meeting he had with the girl and her twin. They discussed and decided custody issues. They agreed on a name etc.. I found the settlement of the custody issue particularly amusing. They agreed that joint custody would be best for the baby. I pointed out that one has to qualify for custodial rights. One has to be gainfully employed, have a place of residence etc.. He was quick to point out that he was working and had already saved $80.00. It was his intention that when he had the baby in his care that he or she could stay in his bedroom. Nick has never grasped the fact that the place he calls his bedroom is really my bedroom that I am temporarily allowing him to use. I think he believes that a baby is really just a high tech puppy. Neither Nick or the girl have considered the fact that neither of them will be of legal age when their little bundle of joy arrives. Oh well, whatever was decided would most likely be decided by the other parents. Nick still didn't get the number for the girl's father.
It's amazing what one can find out about another with next to no information about them. As I fished for information about the girl's parents from Nick he gave me one good piece of data. The girls mom is a marine biologist. How many marine biologists do you think reside in the Chattanooga area? Thanks to Google I found that there are two. One of them is a man who teaches at UTC. The other is a woman. Eureka! Now I had a name. An address placed the lady marine biologist in the neighborhood where your brother said the girl lived.
I almost didn't make the call. I was afraid. I didn't want a stranger to vent all over me. What if I called and I had to deal with a bipolar marine biologist on the negative swing? I made the call. A woman answered.
I realize that you live without fear. However, we lesser mortals must always fight it. Just in case you ever need it let me offer you some advice regarding fear. Face it. Feel it. Embrace it. Then kill it. Fear is the mind killer.* Fear is a subtle slavery. I have found that often fear is the result of my belief in a lie. Once fear enters your heart find the lie. I have lived with some lies for so long that they felt true and normal. It's then that the truth feels like a lie. I introduced myself to the woman I had called. She seemed okay. As our conversation developed I realized that she had no idea why I was calling. I saw no escape by this time so I had the honor of telling yet another mom that she would be a grandmother. The woman certainly didn't seem bipolar. In all likelihood Nick lied about that. She was understandably devastated and heartbroken. I tried my best to explain that had I known that she was unaware of her daughter's situation I would have called some other time. Her daughter wasn't home but she said she would sort it out and call me back.
Your mom was out of town with everyone so I called her to let her know what was happening. After hearing about my experience on the phone your mom's immediate insight was that the girl made the whole thing up, that it was all a lie. I wasn't convinced. I then called Nick and told him I called the girl's mom. His anger with me "waxed hot." I told him the girl's mom didn't know about the pregnancy. She didn't take her daughter to the doctor as he originally told me. He quickly settled down and implored me to believe that what he told me was what he was told. My recommendation was that he call her and get some answers.
It was a lie. It was a prank that went seriously out of control. It was the girl's revenge for what Nick did to her. He got what he wanted and dropped her. After I got over my initial anger I decided that I like this girl. She brought your brother to his knees and tagged him a fool. None of this is lost on Nick. I think I convinced him to drop the issue. The girl had no idea what was waiting for her when she got home and saw her mom. I convinced the poor lady that her daughter was pregnant. I wonder if she took her to the doctor to be sure. I don't know because the allegedly bipolar marine biologist never called me back.
*From Herbert's sci-fi novel Dune
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